Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
