so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize