dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How does one acquire holy water?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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