Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
