Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
