i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dick very happy bro
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
