D3 body, D1 cock
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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