Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
