you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
