This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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