The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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