The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
