Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
