"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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