i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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