I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Panties = found
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
