she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
