Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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