I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
