i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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