just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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