he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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