Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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