Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Bring me that man meat
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
