Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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