Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize