Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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