so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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