just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
