My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
