I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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