She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
