who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
