So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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