If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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