He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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