she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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