YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
