Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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