He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
