my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
