and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
