walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
