Duck Duck Cougar?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
