She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
