I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
