At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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