What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
