He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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