I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
