If that was your dad, he is hot
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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