I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
