I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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