i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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