i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
