The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
