Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
