is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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