I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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