apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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