i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
